I'm not asleep yet
2007-09-22

Well...we haven't hurt each other yet.

Its just freaky when Logan wants to do these moves in bed that somehow end up more like playing twister than anything else.

I may have hurt him. He wants to be left alone. At least at the moment.

I mean, it wasn't that out of the ordinary. And maybe thats just it. Its just I kind of like knowing whats coming and from what angle...I suppose.

Maybe its me. Or maybe its him. Maybe its not suppose to be perfect everytime.

According to Logan, just more of it.

Then it doesn't help when he says, "Now who's that French actor you wish was your boyfriend?" And I come back with, "Which one?" As if they were my boyfriends already.

I mean, really, we do get along. No drama so much as with Jeremy, who was kind of unpredictable at times.

The closeness is good. Comfortable, but then I have heard time and time again, things can get just too comfortable. Well, it wasn't comfortable tonight. I want comfortable back.

Then there are issues about some things I only did with one of my old boyfriends that I haven't done with Logan. I don't think I'm completely depriving him. But you'd think I am. And really I don't even want to talk about Lou. Not anymore.

That kind of stuff can make the whole night miserable..talking about why can't you do this thing when you could with him, but not with me.

I wonder if other people go through this as much. And I wonder if its me that makes Logan so ...in his pity mood at the moment.

And to think I thought it was so easy to be his lover all this time.