falling out quietly
2007-04-13

I know its coming. I just know it is. Fallout with Jeremy. I don't know what he'll do, but he's not going to take this lightly.

He's not been himself since..I'm not sure when. I'm sure he'll blame that on me too.

I didn't say the right thing. There was no right thing to say. I've hurt him, but when he says all these bad things to me, I'm just suppose to be ok with it because...because he's the one with the fulltime job. He's got more on his plate to worry about, like his kid, and he needs time to blow off some steam.

Bullshit.

I go round and round with this crap. Months have been this way. And I try to break up with him, and he just doesn't get that I broke up with him.

Maybe I have no backbone.

Logan won't say it, but I know he doesn't want Jeremy mad at him.

But I don't know how to fix this.

Last night, was so mind boggling. I couldn't believe Jeremy showed up like that. And Logan was here. And he was all emotional over whatever is going over where he lives (except all his stuff seems to be here). He was all, "I can't go back...don't make me go back.." And he really did need a bath. I don't think the bathroom is working there. Maybe the whole place is falling apart. Maybe its drugs. Maybe he just wants me to feel sorry for him.

But it was like two different worlds colliding. And I could see Jeremy being furious.

But he didn't say anything. Just slammed the door shut. He has to know, and he's just waiting for me to say something.

I hope I can just get out of here tonight for a little while. I need to do something instead of worry about this crap.