flakey like snow
2007-04-11

I think I need a nap.

Didn't help that Logan was over last night. He didn't want to go home. Guess trouble is brewing with one of the roommates. I'm not even sure I want to know why.

He wasn't exactly talking about it.

I feel like I've cried a river, and I haven't even shed a tear. I'm just so out of it, you know.

I mean, we've talked so much about us. The past. I don't know if thats good for you. OK, if you can get through it, maybe it is.

Its like we're finally on the same page about so many things. And I'm not going to do the whole thing about, I'm not sure I can explain.

But its me. I'm just stupid. Keeping things like they were with us. And how much I didn't want to think we should be together, when really it feels like I've got to let go of running from what ever it is that keeps me telling myself, "He's not your soul mate." Not that I believe in that kind of thing.

Its just now. Now, I have to do something. Make this right. I don't know. I just feel lost without him.

And now I need sleep. I must sleep. But when I close my eyes I see him.
I see him.