everything reminds me
2006-07-16

I've been reading several diaries on the subject of "soul mates" lately. Or so it seems.

I have to admit, I was nieve to think long ago that Jack must be my soul mate. But he wasn't. He had a lot of excess baggage I had no idea about. You know, sort of like that thing with Chad Lowe and his wife. But there was so much Jack had "admitted" too. And well, maybe it was the fact that maybe it felt good to "save" this guy..but along the way, I felt as if I was drowning with him at times.

Really, I think there is that "chemistry" out there that attracts you to someone..and it only last for so long. And then its up to you to make it last or toss it back. Perhaps it all has to do with your comfort zone. How far are you willing to go for that person?

And in the end you have to have faith in yourself to except the fact that it all may or may not work out.

But I have to admit, sometimes, that clingyness can get the best of you. You feel like you can't breathe.

While there are some people who love to be adored. Who can't wait for their prince charming to show up with flowers and candy (which can mean shopping trips and booze alond with designated drivers). While some of us, just can't stay away from a bad boy and can't wait to hang on tight to see where the adventure will take us. Perhaps I'm the latter.

And you don't know if that our own chemistry that makes us that way. And some old habits aren't easy to quit.

The worst feeling in the world is when your body is telling you one thing how you need that someone when your brain it flashing warning signals..intruder..intruder...you're gonna fuck up soon...

And if you're lucky enough to be told by others that there is that someone..who is your Soulmate..well, you can't trust that either.

I think of all the people I know who could possibly be my "soulmate" would be Logan. And he has a girlfriend. And I wouldn't want to actually be his girlfriend. But I'd miss him so much if we didn't have the conversations we have.