crap
2006-06-23

All right, if it had been earlier in the night...it wouldn't have happened. I swear my mom can hear every sound in the new house. Squeeky floors, etc. She's just flipp'n crazy, I think.

But it was after two. And we'd talked like forever outside on the steps. Well, sort of. Eric and me.

He'd lunged into an embrace when he first got there as if, I was like his long lost cousin he hadn't forgotten. Then thats where the relative stuff stopped. Cause when he started to touch me, I knew I was definitely not his cousin.

So I'd talk, you know...see how things were with Michelle. Which aren't by the way. Thats so over, he says. He better be telling me the truth. And I really want to believe him, but its like she's got this hold on him. But he sure wasn't chained last night.

And then it was all more kissing than talking, afterwhile. And we could keep quiet that way if we just kissed, too. And cuddled. Then it got into places we hadn't gone before.

I'm amazed we found my room. It just evolved. And now I wonder if these are the steps he takes with Michelle when they used to be together. Cause its like he's got it all down like some kind of dance, you know. Actually with his hands and fingers for the most part.

It was like wow, we're already there. And now, afterwards its all...we were there. And I feel like an idiot that it just sort of slipped. Cause we're supposed to be friends, not this.

So I told myself if I see him again, I'm not going to be alone with him. I'm not. Especially, at 2 in the morning.